Keeping the Love Alive
Written by Ciera Thompson
What do you think about when you hear “first love”? Is it a person? Maybe it’s a place. Most of us can remember falling in love for the first time. Whether it was seeing someone's face in the right light or a date that ended at your doorstep with a kiss. There’s something so magical about the “falling”. The realization of a feeling that can turn into a commitment. When I fell in love with writing it felt like finding a home for all the thoughts and stories in my mind. Through scripts, I built safe places to escape to. I made characters that helped me process grief and understand love. Becoming a screenwriter started out like puppy love. I could see only potential and ideas always came easily to me. Sometimes they would shake me while I was out with friends. And then all I could think about was getting home to them (my writing).
Then my passionate love turned into a deeper commitment. I didn’t just want to write screenplays for myself, I wanted to create works that would ultimately get brought to life. This meant sharing my work. Much like in a relationship, you start introducing your work to your friends and to your family. You hope they love them (it) just as much as you do.
When I start a script, it feels like going on a first date. I try to get to know the characters and the setting. I ask questions. I often think, “is this going to work?” If I can’t make it past ten pages or so, I know it’s a wash. We didn’t connect or I could see that it wouldn’t work out long term. Then there are the scripts that have made it to version sixteen. Those are the scripts that are over sixty pages long. The scripts that have been shared with friends and producers. The scripts that got notes and got love. I have a habit of hitting page 15 and thinking, “this is getting serious”. Usually by page 15 I have enough of a foundation that can encourage me to keep going. Or I’m just falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy. I’ve spent weeks with this script, might as well see it through.
In recent years, I’ve grown farther and farther away from the puppy love for my passion. Some days I hate that I’ve made this commitment to myself. It’s frustrating to receive rejections and passes on work that you’ve spent so much time on. My love for my characters and the stories I tell runs so deep that the pain of rejection hurts like heartbreak. My passion must outlast my fear, it must outlast my anxiety. It’s like trying to go from an anxious attachment to a secure one.
I’ve found that the only way to keep myself going, is to not only be in relationship with my work but to be in a healthy relationship with it. I can’t shame my writing, because it’s the bad drafts that lead me to the good ones. I can’t be afraid to apply for grants or submit my scripts because showing off my work is the only way I can be found. Gratitude is important in this endeavor. I’m grateful I have the brainspace to write and to imagine. I’m grateful for that freedom. Grateful for my hands that can type and grateful for everyone who has read a page of my work. Keeping the love alive with something in the entertainment industry takes intentional work. I don’t always get it right but I’ve found that trying is always a good start. So, take care of the thing you love, treat it like you would a person that you love. Care for it, challenge it, and be open to change.